There are just some weeks of one’s life that should be struck from the record for being too annoying, stressful, embarrassing, enraging, unprofitable, and an all-around bummer. I choose to be superstitious and believe that all bad things happen in groups. Therefore, I’m entitled to unmitigated happiness for weeks on end. Lottery ticket time.
Yesterday morning started with a traffic ticket, which I won’t elaborate on, because I am mostly innocent and must fight it in court. Let’s just hope that the good court officials see the wisdom of my point of view. Jonah, who was there at the time, said he looks forward to seeing my case on TV. He thinks Judge Judy will be very nice to me.
The traffic ticket happened as I was racing over to Dunkin Donuts to get 20 chocolate sprinkled donuts for Jonah’s class. It was his seventh birthday. His teacher must have silently cursed me as the donuts unleashed a nuclear meltdown triggered by the simultaneous sugar high in 20 7-year old kids. A giant mushroom cloud was emitted from the school at about 11:00 am yesterday.
After school, I had a little party for Jonah in our house. I wanted an old-school, home-based party with streamers and balloons, rather than an impersonal jumbo party at a party center. Since I only invited 10 kids, most of them neighbors, I told everyone it was just a play date and not to bring presents. Nobody listened to me. They brought presents and bragged to every kid in school that they were going to Jonah’s PARTY and no one else was. The other mothers are going to be mad at me.
Silly me. I also thought it would be easy. I would just have the boys get their crazies out outside and then call them in for cake and pizza.
It rained.
I got some videos at Blockbusters. I made popcorn. That kept them happy for an hour, but then they started wrestling. My sister the teacher stopped in and demanded to know what games I had planned for them to play. None, I replied. Can’t they just sit on the sofa and talk about politics and art? What’s wrong with them? Then my much wiser sister got them playing Simon Says and Freeze Dance, until the pizza came.
It was crazy. Let’s just say that there was a mosh pit in my living room.
Today, I’m chilling. I have a crap load of real work to do, but I’m too fried. It will have to wait until tomorrow when the good karma kicks in.
Apt. 11d 