Peace, Yo

I finally ordered Christmas cards through Shutterfly. It took all morning to figure out which kiddie picture to  paste on the front. Jonah's two front teeth are going through an awkward stage, so it was tricky to find a good picture of him.

After I set up the front of the card, then came the message decision. I couldn't use "Happy Holidays" after reading Maria Farrell's post last week. In these strange times,"Merry Christmas" has become too daring, like you're spoiling for a fight. "Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah" was leaving out the atheists and the two people who celebrate Kwanzaa.

We decided that a message of "peace and good will to men" was religious themed, but not politically loaded. Still there was the "men" problem. Do we write "peace and good will to men and wimyn and transgendered individuals"? Finally settled on "peace and good will to all."

My brother said that he has a recipe for George Washington's egg nog, which is loaded with rum and brandy. Bring it on, bro.

Comments

[dave.s.]

I'm sort of baffled by the Merry Christmas not-correct business: I'm wishing my holiday good cheer to others. I'm not trying to make Christians of them - Hell, I'm a secular guy myself (a friend of mine told me she was a 'cultural Jew'. That's a nice formula - I'm a cultural Christian, not a believer, but a cultural Christian.) I'm not a public institution, saying it's the only holiday around. So I still say Merry Christmas.

[Amy P]

A few points:

1. A few weeks ago, we dined at McDonald's, and the kids' Happy Meals had a quiz, asking what present a certain Shrek character had gotten "for the holiday."

2. One of the years we were in residence at a major Catholic university, there was no dorm-wide Christmas party because no one could be found to organize festivities for non-Christian December holidays. So the whole party was scrapped that year.

3. A couple years back, my husband took our daughter to the Smithsonian's children's holiday program, which is entitled something like "festivals of light." The program was devoted to explaining various winter holidays to the kids--Christmas, Hanukkah, Eid (OK--that one's a stretch), Diwali, etc. They wrapped up with a big finale, saying that all of these were holidays of lights and that they were basically all about the same thing. I look forward to future programs explaining why New Year's, St. Patrick's, Valentine's Day, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are all the same.

[Amy P]

How about "Feliz Navidad" or "Joyeux Noelle" or "Gloria in excelsis deo"?

[Wendy]

I was a bit put off by Maria's post. The point is not that we (who celebrate Christmas) can't call it Christmas. The point is that if you're addressing someone, it's kind of rude to assume s/he is Christian.

Your post is well-timed because we just sent out our cards, and we struggled over the words. Usually we go with a "peace and joy this holiday season" message, but for some reason my husband balked this year. The card had 4 snowpeople ;) with one of our faces on each. And it says "We're dreaming of a white Christmas." Inside it says "May your days be merry and bright." We had the cards done, and as we were signing them, I got all angsty because I forgot about our non-Christmas-celebrating friends. Then I realized it was totally appropriate that for these snowpeople to wish for snow on Christmas, whether they celebrate Christmas or not. :)

[Ailurophile]

I wouldn't sweat Maria's post too much, Laura. I think she was trying to be funny, but instead came off as priggish and scolding. So don't tie yourself in a pretzel hoping to not offend anyone. Most people pay more attention to the "happy" rather than the "holidays" or the "Merry" as opposed to Christmas. Sheesh. If someone is offended by a pleasant generic greeting, that says more about them than you.

Besides, if you are sending cards with a pic of the boys on the front, I can guarantee you that they'll be giving all their attention to the pic: how big they've grown and all that stuff and won't give a lick of attention to the greeting printed inside.

[bj]

Hey, what if I'm a warmonger? Won't I be offended?

I think the key is to emphasize your celebration and not mine.

We, incidentally, are having a joyous hanukkah (day 6 today).

bj

[laura]

Happy Hanukkah, bj!

[Liz]

I had a bit of a grrrrr over Maria's article -- for different reasons--her Brit condescension to we California peons. I can't do much about my ancestry -- all of my grandparents being so ill-bred as to have been born in California. Nevermind.

I am fairly certain it was my father who dinned into me the "peace to you this season" and "good will to all" as a early-winter greeting, rather than "Merry Christmas", starting in the 1950s.

I have a mid-1950s "Christmas card" from his company. The image is of a glorious sunrise on a plowed field, with a skein of ducks crossing left to right.

See, he sold agricultural goods in [a specific part] of California. His clients were mostly secular folk or Christians, but also a goodly number of Hindus, Sikhs, a few families of Christian denominations that denounced the celebration of Christmas...you get the picture.

[Amy P]

Playing ethnic gotcha is not a nice Advent activity, but I have to agree with Maria's commenters who pointed out to her that busty blonde midwestern transplants are a very small minority of the people coming to live in LA. When I lived there as a college student in the early 90s, it had already been dubbed "Capital of the Third World," and whites were maybe a third of the population.

On a related note, I overheard a conversation once last year in NW DC between two twenty-somethings who were comparing DC to Dallas: "Everyone in DC is hyper-educated!" I know what they meant (DC does have a large educated population), but a less charitable reading would be: "Everyone that I hang out with in DC is hyper-educated, and I don't bother to notice the other people."

[Rocky]

My beloved uncle and aunt once annoyed much of the family by sending cards that read, "Rejoice, a new solstice!"

[jen]

I also get solstice cards each year from my old friend David. Like Rocky's relatives, I think it's mostly done to piss off David's mother.

In a somewhat unrelated category, I have also seen a recent rise in the more nebulous kinda-for-a-holiday-but-I-blew-the-timing "Happy January" cards from at least two procrastinating families. I find it nice to spice January up a little bit.

Frankly I'm just glad to get any card at all. Cards are a dying tradition, and I'm sad to see them go.

[Doug (not Muir)]

January is good for Orthodox Christmas, not that I usually make it in time for that one either...

[ricki]

Maybe I risk offending people, but I wish people a "Merry Christmas" unless I specifically know they are not Christian, and then I figure out what to wish them, whether it be "Happy Chanukah," "Good Yule," "Happy Solstice" or whatever.

If I lived in a predominantly Jewish community and someone wished me a happy Chanukah, I'd smile, nod, and wish them the same.

(I tend to figure those passing moments are not the time to lecture someone about how you don't belong to that particular religion or celebrate that particular day. What the person is really saying is "Good wishes to you." They're not putting you down or trying to convert you - they're just trying to be nice.

It's too bad that in our modern world, there are people who will take what used to pass for being nice and use it as evidence that they, personally, are being persecuted.)

[jen]

Maybe what it really shows is that the holidays make everyone grumpy! That's certainly the case for me!