What's harder? Parenthood or being married? Fun take on this question at Dooce.
I pick parenthood. The biggest dilemna when we got married was how we were going to sort the music collection and who made the coffee in the morning. Becoming a parent involved two major operations, lactation, and severe sleep deprivation. It involved moral dilemnas over whether or not one could run out and feed a parking meter, while the baby napped. After that, things got really complicated.
Do we have to choose? The hard parenting will be over in about 10 years for me. But I'm still gonna be living with the hubby. I guess I feel both go up and down so much, it's hard to choose.
Posted by: Laura (geekymom) | January 07, 2009 at 10:45 PM
No brainer. Babies. Perhaps this is my perspective because I'm in the thick of it, though.
Posted by: Jeannette | January 07, 2009 at 10:51 PM
My son and I have had arguments lasting several minutes about whether I could change his diaper now or if I had to wait until he pooped. I'm not saying that my wife and I have only substantive disagreements, but it's never gotten that bad.
Posted by: MH | January 07, 2009 at 10:54 PM
Depends whom your married to, and who your kids are. Marriage, and parenting the first two, all easy; parenting #3 not easy. (Not fair really, he's getting better all the time, but...)
Posted by: harry b | January 07, 2009 at 11:00 PM
I'm with Harry. Your kids, they come from the manufacturer and you feed them and water them and you have to deal with them. Quirks! Your spouse, one hopes, you chose, chose you with relatively compatible needs.
Posted by: dave.s. | January 08, 2009 at 06:23 AM
I am amused that mild-mannered Harry produced a little bruiser like #3. Does #3 change your philosophical views of parenthood, harry?
Posted by: laura | January 08, 2009 at 08:14 AM
It totally depends on the child and the spouse. I am always amused by people who think that they are such great parents because one child is easy or turns out well. They need one or two other children to realize that raising children is like driving on ice.
Maybe this post should be subtitled: How can I be such an amazing parent to one child and a crappy parent to the other?!?!?
Posted by: will | January 08, 2009 at 11:40 AM
"How can I be such an amazing parent to one child and a crappy parent to the other?!?!?"
Oh, sing it, brother. Having trouble with my 6 year old now. My daughter made it all seem so easy.
Posted by: Wendy | January 08, 2009 at 11:52 AM
Having the children three at a time is harder. Although I suppose it did save us from that "we're brilliant because this one child is so easy" fallacy.
Posted by: Jody | January 08, 2009 at 01:17 PM
Unless it's a problematic marriage, parenting is the much more difficult gig. With autistic youngest, I'm also never sure when the heavy load of responsibilities will lighten. I love my kids, but they're a lot of work.
When they finally go to bed, I can breath a sigh of relief and look forward to sitting in one place for more than five minutes at a go. With my husband around, we can sit together companionably for hours and I never have to feel as if I'm constantly on alert for his needs.
Posted by: Janice | January 08, 2009 at 01:25 PM
my oldest is autistic so the younger one seems like the easy one!
Posted by: will | January 08, 2009 at 10:29 PM